Ok, so I have not been blogging for the past 4 months and this is why….I have been caught up working full time at a job that is draining in every sense of the word. It takes from me emotionally, mentally and physically. On top of this I am also a full time mom and am completely dedicated. This means I have put so much pressure on myself to be “supermom”.
I wanted to spend all my spare time with my kids. Can you imagine? My SPARE time?? My kids shouldn’t get my spare time. I was feeling terrible about this and really needed to make a change.
I have been a Child Protection Specialist for NYC for the past 10 years. A lot has happened with in these 10 years including having my kids and even being assaulted on the job.
As the new year (2017) was approaching I found my self at a cross road. I was at this job that was taking everything from me. This is a career that you put your all into because you have to. There are lives at risk if you don’t. The thing about this job is that you take in so much and it becomes your life. You cant sleep with out thinking about the kids and families on your load and all the things you have to do that cant be done in the “work day”. Many times CPS workers go past 12 and even 16 hour work days. Secondary trauma is real my friends and with no help to process all the things you see (therapy) it can effect your daily living, relationships and the way you think about people in general.
I am grateful for the job because I have learned so much. I have also applied a lot of what I have learned especially regarding the safety of my children and other children around me. I have made wonderful friends who have become like family. We spent more time together that we did with our blood relatives. I give so much credit to these CPS workers who put their own lives on hold for the sake of NYC children. They really do care despite what that media will say about them. Its a tough job and you will never know what it truly entails unless you yourself do it.
With that said, I KNOW there has to be more to life than just work and bills. LOL So….after MUCH deliberation with my husband and discussing what truly makes me happy, I decided to LEAVE MY JOB!!!
I just cant believe that I did it! I made the decision and have been focusing on what really matters which is my family. MY family is the most important to me and what I want to invest in. So now I get to take care of my kids and give them my undivided attention rather than my spare time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m focusing on me too. Although I would love to be a stay at home mom, we do not have the financial resources to live comfortably as we are accustomed to. Plus I like working! The difference now is that I can put all my energy in to doing something that I love and still have passion for.
There are still things that I worry about like health insurance, but God has that under control. Leaving my job was a huge leap of faith and believing that God will open the doors for whatever He has planned. I’m excited and nervous about this whole thing. I’ve never not had a job before and have always provided but this is my chance to show God faithfulness and show that I trust in Him.
More posts are to come regarding this phase of my life. Please leave comments with your own story or some encouragement for me as I would really appreciate some support from fellow moms / career women!